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Self Care Soapbox

We mamas hear plenty of talk about self care these days.

I think this is a good thing! But let’s take a moment and think about what it truly means to take care of yourself.

Until recently, I thought self care was synonymous with a leisurely bubble bath, a pedicure, an hour long massage, a relaxing glass of wine, you fill in the blank.

And don’t get me wrong. Heck yeah, I would jump at the opportunity to enjoy any of those things!

But my perspective on self care has been shifting.

Sometimes self care means doing the hard things, too. Things like…

Getting out of bed early to center yourself before your kids wake.

Getting regular physical exercise.

Asking for help. Eek!

Speaking up for yourself when you’re being treated like a doormat.

Making your bed. (Ok, that one really isn’t too hard. I promise!)

Creating a routine for yourself and sticking to it.

Communicating to your partner what you need.

Setting aside time to figure out what you need.

Letting go of toxic relationships.

Reworking the budget to allow for date night.

Keeping your smartphone out of the bedroom at night to force you to rest.

Saying NO to things that drain you or don’t align with your current goals.

Planning your meals. 

Asking someone to hold you accountable.

Scheduling an appointment with a counselor, dentist, fill in the blank.

Reconciling your bank account and sticking to a budget. 

Starting dinner during naptime when you know 5pm is gonna be cray.

That early dinner prep was what I needed to do for myself the other day. We had returned from an adventure-filled family road trip over the 4th of July holiday. (Happy Birthday to me!)

We had missed naps for a few days, dined on scrumptious fare, stayed up way past bedtimes, and all that jazz… and you mamas know what it’s like coming home from a vacation with kids! You need a vacation from your vacation, am I right?

Needless to say, being proactive and cooking dinner early made all the difference in how our evening went.

I was able to take the kids to martial arts and come home knowing that we only needed to reheat the chili, throw some Fritos on top, and enjoy each other’s company. ::insert deep relaxing breath here::

Thank you so much, self! Things could have gone much differently that day.

So, do yourself a favor and think for just a minute…

What do you need today? What do you need today? What do you need today?

Now go make it happen, Mama. And be sure to pause and thank your self, too!

July 10, 2019 by

Book Review: The One Thing

There’s a tall stack of books on my nightstand. Always.

On any given day, I’m reading at least 5 different books. But it’s rare that I read one cover to cover. Listening to audio books (while folding laundry, driving, exercising) has helped me finish more books this year! Still, it does something to my soul to hold an actual book-with-pages in my hands. Does anyone else love the way books smell??

The latest book I finished is one that several friends had recommended during a season of intense overwhelm. I was trying to do allll the things, some for which I had little or no passion. Consequently, I didn’t have the freedom to focus and do any one thing with excellence.

I like doing things with excellence.

Enter The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results.

I have to say I was initially turned off by author Gary Keller’s anti-multitasking rant. I take great pride in being a multitasker extraordinaire. Hey, I juggle 7 kids, a husband, a house, a couple small businesses, taxes (ugh!), my personal health, and all the things! I struggled so much with Keller’s affront to my modus operandi that I almost stopped reading the book altogether. It is ludicrous to order any mama to cease and desist from multitasking! But I digress. Thanks to this book I find myself more mindful of which tasks truly warrant my undivided attention and which ones can be completed in tandem with others.

My biggest takeaway from the book has been the Focusing Question. I now ask myself the Focusing Question multiple times a week – sometimes multiple times a day – and I encourage you to give it a go! It goes something like this: 

“What’s the one thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

It reminds me of a similar question I’ve asked myself for years: What is the very best use of my time in this moment? That in this moment part is key!

For example, in this moment my kiddos are playing with a babysitter so I can have time to work (and drink a cup of coffee) without interruption. There are a million things I could do right now, but some of them could easily be accomplished while the kids are with me. I’ll save those tasks for later and choose to work now on the things that demand my undivided attention.

Maybe your one thing right now is balancing your budget (more on that later) to clear some mental space so you can relax and be more present with your kids. Maybe it’s setting a timer and taking a power nap while the baby sleeps. Maybe it’s jotting down a basic weekly plan (and attaching it to the fridge or bathroom mirror) to give yourself some routine.

If you are like me and your to do list is overwhelmingly infinite, try a brain dump! Grab a pen & paper and start scribbling allll the things you need and/or want to do. When you read over your list, I bet you’ll see which of your tasks, once accomplished, really will make some of your other tasks easier or even unnecessary! 

I’d love to hear what your One Thing is… feel free to leave a comment.

June 21, 2019 by

A Moment In Paris

Seven years ago.

Time stands still for me when I see this photo.

I remember how completely BLISSFUL I felt in that Paris Métro station with this guy beside me. We’ve experienced so much life (quite literally, lots of new little lives) these last 7 years, and it hasn’t always been blissful.

But I’m thankful for it all, the good AND the hard.

I have chosen to grow from the challenges life has brought (and continues to bring) us. Many days I long for a life of ease and simplicity and bliss, to feel how I felt in the moment captured here.

But I am resolved to practice contentment and gratitude even as we face difficult seasons of intense adulting. I’m looking for the lessons that need to be learned and wondering how these experiences will equip me to help others down the road.

I believe with all my heart that each of us (You included, my friend!) was created with PURPOSE, and sometimes going through the muck is necessary for us to grow into being better versions of ourselves.

If you’re in a similar season, I want you to know you’re not alone. That is all. 

June 3, 2019 by

The Years Are (So) Short.

This morning I attended my daughter’s Pre-K graduation ceremony. I’ll be honest. I’ve always thought it silly to have all these “graduations” starting with Pre-K then on to Kindergarten, 5th grade, 8th grade.. I mean really?? High school and college graduation I can understand. I’m just not a fan of all the pomp & circumstance surrounding the minor milestones. I feel similarly when kids are given trophies just for participation in an activity. I really think it feeds the cultural attitude of entitlement among today’s youth.

I digress. I’ll admit it was fun to see my little blondie enthusiastically singing the songs, doing the motions (she makes an awesome statue, btw) and looking fabulous in her graduation gown which happened to be her favorite color RED! When each kid walked forward to receive their certificate from the principal, the teacher shared with the audience something that student learned during the year and what that child wants to be when they grow up. My daughter apparently wants to be a baker. She wants to make treats for others. She makes the best imaginary treats for me everyday, mostly the play-doh variety.

That got me to thinking. I wonder how many of these kiddos will actually follow these childhood dreams. My firstborn was obsessed with video games at a very young age, and by the time he was 5 year old he was telling people he wanted to be a video game developer. I’m sad to say I used to roll my eyes at this. I figured he was just saying that because he thought he could just play video games the rest of his life and eventually get paid for it. But guess what?? He’s graduating high school this week and moving out, and HE IS DOING THE THINGS! He’s amazing at computer programming, coding, and creating video games.. and he even gets paid now for playing games! Who knew?! It’s incredible to me how our children are each so special and how their unique design is evident even from their very early childhood! What a cool Creator we have.

Think about what you liked to do as a young child. What did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing something similar now? I always wanted to be a wife & a mom. I loved to play house, and I always insisted on being the mom. Don’t you dare try to be the mom! There were a few other jobs I thought would be cool including flight attendant, nurse (been there, done that), missionary (that, too). In another life, I’d be a storm chaser and/or a sommelier. Not that you needed to know all that. Just some fun facts.

Anyway, back to graduations. I’m glad I went to the Pre-K ceremony this morning. I know it meant a lot to her to see her Mama & Nini in the crowd. I about lost it when they marched in to “Pomp & Circumstance” though. I was flash-forwarding (is that a word?) to Thursday night when it’ll be for real. My son has reached a big milestone. How is it time for this already?!?? I mean it doesn’t really feel like yesterday that he was a baby. A lot of life has happened since then. But seriously, how?? They say the days are long, and heck yes they are! They can be especially long with a house full of Littles. They also say the years are short. And goodness, that’s true, too! I’m thankful for this big-picture perspective and hope that it will help me be a more present, patient mom for my younger ones because, golly, they’ll be grown soon, too! If you haven’t reached this milestone yet and you have littles at home, just take my word for it. Love them the best you can every single day. They will fly the nest all too soon!

May 20, 2019 by

Smart Meal Planning for Busy Moms

Want to know one of my “secrets to success” when it comes to being a #fitmomof7? You might have guessed it. Meal Planning!

Simple Meal Planning - Plan to Eat

There are soooo many crazy, unexpected things that can happen in our day. If I don’t have a solid plan in place, we’re likely having cold cereal or frozen waffles for dinner. That’s not good for my energy level or my waistline! Also not good for keeping my Littles off the tantrum wagon. (Can I get a witness??) Have you ever noticed your kids clawing the cabinets for more cereal, more crackers, allll the carbs and processed foods?! It’s a real addiction! But that’s a conversation for another day. My point here is simple: everyone eats better when Mom has a plan!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t relish reinventing the wheel. It’s just not a smart use of time! For years I wasted so much time creating and re-creating the same meal plans over and over again. Digging around for familiar recipes, choosing a handful of recipes to make that week, compiling all the ingredients into a shopping list, and so on. If I had just had a system to streamline this process, I could have spent hours more time each month playing with my kids or pursuing my passions instead of meal planning. I think I knew this all along, and I even tried some meal planning subscriptions, but I never found just the right tool. Until now!

Simple Meal Planning - Plan to Eat

Plan to Eat combines all the elements I would want in a meal planning app!

Plan to Eat allows you to create a virtual recipe library! I’m working to reduce paper clutter in my house so I love this. You can easily import or “clip” recipes from just about any website, or you can manually enter recipes like Momma’s Spaghetti Sauce, Nonie’s Meatloaf or my hubby’s favorite nachos that I just throw together. You can categorize and tag your recipes for easy searching. And you can decide whether you want your recipe library to be public, friends only, or private. You can also share your recipes with friends, which I have plans to do for you here on this blog!

Plan to Eat gives you a calendar where you can schedule recipes for each meal of every day of the month. I typically just schedule 4-5 dinners per week, allowing for leftovers and occasional dining out. Bonus: for those days when life happens and you deviate from your plan, you can simply reschedule your recipes with a drag & drop feature! You can also create recipe sets that allow you to fill in a whole week (or month) at a time with a set menu if you tend to make the same meals in rotation.

Plan to Eat pulls the ingredients from your scheduled recipes and automatically compiles your shopping list for you! You can easily add other staples like bread, milk, bananas, and toilet paper. Then delete the items you already have in your kitchen (salt, pepper, water, flour) and voila! You’re ready to go to the store! The Plan to Eat mobile app has terrific functionality and because it’s a web-based program, any changes you make on your phone will immediately be reflected on your computer. And vice versa!

I’m not exaggerating when I say this meal planner has CHANGED MY LIFE! I’ve been using it for 9 months, and every week I am still amazed at how quickly & easily I get the meal planning, list making, and grocery ordering done! You can use my link to get a 30 day free trial and see what all the fuss is about. If you love it, please comment and let me know! Plan to Eat Free Trial

April 16, 2019 by

Blessed Be Your Name

A person’s a person, no matter how small.

Dr Seuss

I’m grieving.

I’m sure far too many of you can relate to what my friend Emma describes as the “soul-crushing pain” of losing a baby. Sometimes babies leave us before we ever know their presence within us. Sometimes they leave us after we’ve experienced the magic of holding them in our arms. And everything in between. There is a temptation to think that the older a baby is, the greater the grief over his/her passing. I’m not convinced that’s true.

This is my fourth pregnancy loss. It’s been over 12 years since my last one, and honestly I don’t remember hurting like this. It was a shock to learn about this pregnancy. When I saw those two pink lines on the test, I was afraid. How will my body handle another pregnancy? Am I getting too old for this? My baby is only just 5 months old… this is too soon. We’re going to need a new vehicle to fit all the car seats. How are we going to afford another child? What will people think when I announce yet another pregnancy? (People say the dumbest things to moms of many… we’ll talk about that another day.)

As my heart settled and my faith grew, I began to warmly accept this precious new life and look forward to his/her arrival. I was grateful. I quickly became downright thrilled! I shared the news with a few friends because – let’s face it – I’m terrible at keeping my own secrets. The song “Blessed Be Your Name” has helped carry my heart through many seasons of life, especially during times of loss. “You give and take away, You give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Blessed be your name.” Most often I hear the take away bit, but when I found out I was pregnant I listened to the song over and over and heard, “You give, You give, You give…”I wasn’t sure I was ready to receive the gift, but I chose to place my trust in God’s good & perfect will for my life. I meditated on Mary’s response when she found out she would be having a Son.. not that my situation can quite be compared to hers! But she basically said, “I am the Lord’s servant.. may it be to me as you have said.” (Luke 1:38) I adopted her submissive spirit.

Then my world came crashing down this weekend. I was afraid I might be losing this baby. With the comforting company of my mom, I spent several hours at the doctor’s office yesterday, and my suspicions were confirmed. My heart hurts so so so much, but I still believe in a good Father who cares for me and has a higher purpose for my life that I don’t fully understand. I’m hugging my babies tighter and growing closer to my husband in a new way – this is our first loss together. I’m realizing just how much God has been answering my prayers for new, real friendships with other women. Childcare during my doctor’s appointment, meals delivered to our home, a gift bag of goodies with instructions to pamper myself, a ride for my kids to school this morning, and the most heartfelt words of sympathy are just some of the acts of kindness I’ve received in the last 24 hours. He truly does GIVE. Even in the midst of loss. I don’t understand. I hurt. I trust. I grieve. I cry. I say thank you. I say WHY me. I cry some more. And I know it’ll be ok.

Blessed be your name.

April 2, 2019 by

Better Than Perfect

Recently I’ve been telling myself that DONE is better than perfect.

And that’s why I’m just going to Ready, Fire, Aim with this blog! It’s been on the back burner for far too long. Thanks to the encouragement of some amazing women friends and my awesome husband, I chose a date to hit the Publish button and I’m sticking to it!!!

What have you been putting off until that elusive perfect time…

…when the kids are older

…when the extra pounds are gone

…when the debt is paid off

…when the house is decluttered

…and all the other reasons we use to justify procrastinating postponing our dreams.

Looking back on your life, wouldn’t you rather have pursued something imperfectly than not have pursued it at all?

Why not START TODAY?!

March 29, 2019 by